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I’m sat on the floor
Half naked
Half drunk
On a Sunday morning
My phone rings
It’s a while before I register it
Piercing the silence
A shrill annoying bark
It makes my head hurt

I pick it up and it’s
Mom
A smile creeps on my cracked lips
I’ve missed her voice
She speaks as if
the world was ever so kind to her
She says she worries about me
I dont call anymore
Did I attend Mass?
Had I eaten anything?
The questions seem to never end
But I’m patient

We talk for a while and
I end the call
I always end the call
The facade rarely holds up for long
Even on the good days
Now the fifth bottle’s half empty
I swirl it lazily
This one’s cheap wine
A birthday gift
I was going to give a friend
Whose party
I didnt attend
I couldn’t bring myself to give it to him
Days afterwards
I didn’t know what to say
“I missed your party ”
“Why?”
“because I was having trouble tying a noose”
That made me laugh
So hard
I almost shit myself

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