FOR BOYS WHO LIVE IN MEMORIES, BY JAACHI ANYATONWU
i love to live in moments;
dying to see how lucky i was.
i’d use my body as a dove with invisible wings
that fluttered in the void as if it were air
and hummed in the dark memories in which i live.
i’d relive me through the darkest years of my life.
my memories are my darkness; the darkest of all!
i know i’ll never get anywhere as long as relive those moments.
but, the memories are good. they remind me of you:
your smile. your kiss.
your smell. your hips.
you’re afraid when i’m strong, so, you get to me at my weakest.
you ride me to my highest, yet, you drag me into my darkest.
you’ll always be scared to admit that you’re wrong for me.
if only you knew i never had it right
and wrong is the only right i’ve got.
all i want is to taste you,
to feel you on my lips as i recall your poisonous love,
and forget about all reality, because soon, before i know it,
i’d be face to face, again, with the problems that surround me.
i’d be back down begging on my knees for memories
someday i’ll embrace the present with open arms, chase the future like a cockerel on heat, and you’re going to stay away from me.
but these memories are the parting gift of experience.
sadly, i can’t reject this gift.