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Masturbation is the forbidden fruit that tastes so sweet and good that a lot of boys globally are enslaved by it.  It is a sweet-bitter addiction that has destroyed and is still destroying the crop of boy children who are supposed to be the custodians of knowledge. There’s no mystery around masturbation, but shame and reproach all the way. Masturbation is evil! Masturbation is bad!  Masturbation can lower one’s self-esteem and disorganize one’s emotional intelligence. Any man that cannot keep his emotions in check is an accident waiting to happen just in a matter of time.  

One may ask, “Why the hullabaloo about masturbation? Why should the boy child be taught about the dangers within?”. I will say, no man learns about an impending war bearing destruction in one arm and damnation in the other and keeps the information to himself. In the right spirit and genuine love for humanity, others are meant to be saved alongside one’s contributory and timely information to them. This is the basis of this personal essay, and I believe it will lift someone out there from the obscurity of masturbation and reposition such an individual as an acolyte for the propagation of this gospel of reformation. I also implore that this be read with an open mind. It is not to chastise anyone whatsoever, nor is it judgemental, but a corrective measure for a saner society. 

What to do in this mess called masturbation?

Although I spoke extensively in the first part of this series, which dealt with the PEACE Approach, I will also discuss the need to also engage the THERAPY Approach in this second series. There are several ways to treat this cankerworm, called masturbation, that has eaten deep into the fabric of society. As is often said, one or two or many roads may lead to a place, but the bottom line remains the destination. Although different approaches, the same goal in view of salvaging the sorry state of the boy child and the other gender in the light of the subject of discourse as they grope in ignorance without true knowledge to navigate out of the valley. Hell is real and humanity selling their thoughts to partake in a fraction of this slavery is the beginning of this never-ending journey.  The Therapy Approach is one that deals with the belief systems as we explain what lies behind those letters that make up the word.

under the sheets

T-rust the individual to obtain the desired result(s)

Condemnation is an act of judgment passed on to an individual without exhausting the options of hearing from such an individual. Dealing with hearsay or personal observation may not grant one the necessary information needed to work and generate the end result, in this case, the rehabilitation of broken boys, in a matter or case at hand. Trust the individual even though his actions may disgust you. This will cause you to obtain the needed end result. Give the individual the benefit of doubt. Draw them close and treat them with care as your sons. Believe me, that which you seek to achieve in your life, you will find as soon as possible.

H-elp the boy child through the process of rehabilitation.

Help is a sacred word, and it unites not only humans around one another but everyone that comes across a genuine helper. HELP is defined in my own way as “Humanity Elevating Living Persons.” You may be living with an individual who is emotionally broken just as a car breaks down. This is where you, who are reading this piece of writing, come in. The Holy Book assuages that as many that received Him to them gave He power to become the sons of God even to them that believe on His name (cf, Jh1:12). There must be a belief system in place before help comes forth. If you feel that you cannot be helped and you resort to pushing everyone that comes close to knowing this flaw that has enslaved you, then you don’t want to give up this addiction. Humans make mistakes, and there are always ample opportunities to retrace our wrong steps. Help that boy child today through the process of his rehabilitation and masturbation will have no moral power over his emotions and thought process. Bring him to the knowledge of light and illuminate his understanding of his sexuality. HELP is not common. It is a virtue. Be grateful when you encounter one, knocking at your door. Just like an oasis in the desert, you don’t find it in every place. Just like mineral resources buried in the belly of the earth, you can sweat your entire life looking for one. Be grateful. Seek HELP!

E-mpathise with his condition and what he’s going through psychologically

Any man that cannot control his thought pattern is considered to be insane and those who indulge in the silly act of masturbation for self-gratification are not far from the thin line separating sanity from insanity. At all times, such individuals must have their sanity checked by professionals and urgent help proffered to avoid complications. Most times you hear people say that when they are angry or angered, they turn to masturbation for solace. When depression sets in too, this deadly and silent monster nibbling away the destiny of the boy child is also consulted for assistance. The list is endless. Does it not occur to the victim here that there are ways to manage one’s emotions and thought processes and this is not the best of ways? Know what triggered the ugly situation in the individual and try to help the individual psychologically. If others have been there and had been successfully rehabilitated, a case at hand cannot be different or difficult to handle. Implore every option depending on the approach you’re using and follow through. I believe results will spring forth. 

R-each out and celebrate milestones achieved by the boy child

Addiction is some form of bondage that takes commitment on the part of the addict to do away with. For instance, a smoker that wants to quit on his own without the assistance of a professional may end up in a difficult lane. The same is applicable to anyone already deep in the act of masturbation. However,  anytime you see yourself helping any individual for the purpose of this piece, in this case of a boy child,  to overcome his addiction,  celebrate every progress made and reward tangible efforts.  This will definitely help the boy child overcome the grip of the addiction on time. 

A-ssist him to clear any doubt in the healing process.

Without believing in a process, one may never obtain the best out of it. The reason is that one may treat instructions with levity and play around with vital details. As a counselor, it behooves one to assist any addict in the act of masturbation to clear any doubt in the process of his rehabilitation. By so doing, vital results will be obtained thereby leading to the transformation of the boy child into a better version of himself.  This is practical for actualizing a positive self-rehabilitation where everyone becomes happy at the end of the day. It is worth trying.

P-ray with him [the boy child] all the way

A songwriter once wrote, “Prayer is the key, prayer is the master key…” If you’re a believer here, you’ll absolutely agree with me that there’s nothing prayer cannot do. It changes things. It repairs things. It transforms things to become better. Above all, it strengthens the giver and the receiver. Be like the sun that gives and shines forth without exhausting its energy. Let the process of trying to heal and save a future generation of boys from addiction of all sorts begin with you. Be your own driving force to achieve an enduring result in this aspect.

Y-ou’re the Lord of your emotions.

 No vehicle drives itself entirely. There may be some technology in place that does this, but it still needs human input to function effectively. In the same vein, our emotions are not meant to control us if we are to win this war against masturbation raging globally in the lives of boys, teenagers, and even adults alike. Know this rare truth today and don’t allow anyone to tell you otherwise or even try to confuse you, “You’re the Lord of your emotions!” What you permit in your thought process comes into reality. Writing this piece was a process in itself, I thought about it while taking a shower and marshaled out my points in clear terms. After the thought process, comes the birthing of the words which you now see on paper. This same process is applicable to what goes on in one’s mind. Be in charge, take full responsibility, take proper care of your mind, and above all, be the Lord of your emotions. Without this last piece of THERAPY fixed into the board of jigsaw after rehabilitation, believe me, you would one day fraternize with this unholy monster called masturbation again. This goes a long way to corroborate the words of the Holy Book which assuaged, ” …as a man thinks in his heart, so he is.”

Conclusion

All information received is a weapon against any evil that has kept one bound or addicted for long. The THERAPY Approach to dealing with masturbation may not be all-encompassing, but it has the capacity of reaching the goal of setting the addict free from the act of masturbation. I have done my little part in contributing to this global issue. My personal goal is to see that a lot of people who suffer from this addiction to masturbation are adequately cured and freed. The words of  James 5:14-15a, “Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church [ professionals and custodians of faith]; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: and the prayer of faith shall save the sick, [and he shall be well again]. A word is enough for the while. Be the change agent, be the harbinger of this uncommon gospel of the boy child reformation.

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Maxwell Onyemaechi Opia-Enwemuche is an award winning poet, boy child advocate, a storyteller, a Folklorist, an humorist and a novelist who writes from Port Harcourt, Nigeria. His manuscript , 'Ozemena!' a collection of the Nigeria-Biafra civil war in meditative verses found a home in Poemify Publishers.

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